"The foot that is restless
will tread on a turd"
--- Ethiopian Proverb ---

This proverb is a prophetic warning to travellers that "the brown stuff" happens ...

Gondar is a pretty town near the Sudan border and Simien mountains, graced by a number of fairytale castles and the most-photographed church in Ethiopia. We did not manage to visit the castles, however, due to an unpleasant experience which we have decided to call the Gondar Gomma Incident. The word Gomma is Amharic / Italian/ Ethiopian for “tyre” (or “tire” for Americans).

Busy roads

Anyone who has travelled in Africa will know that roads and streets are not actually intended for motor vehicles, they are there for the benefit of pedestrians, animals, rubbish and street vendors. I was driving slowly along the busy streets of Gondar, with Pat trying to spot the only hotel in Gondar that offered camping. A young woman was standing on the edge of the road with her back to us. As we passed, she turned and shrieked, I assumed out of surprise. I checked in my rear view mirror and was greeted with a dirty glare from her.

We continued slowly towards our hotel, where we eventually negotiated and paid our camping fee. At the hotel, we were accosted by the usual motley assortment of self-appointed guides wanting to show us the castles. One of them told us that, by the way, there was a girl in town who is possibly going to cause trouble for us and who claims that we had an accident with her. He suggested that maybe we should travel only on the back streets in case the police are looking for us. We said that we had seen this girl, who we shall henceforth refer to as the Gomma Girl (GG). We explained that there was no way that we had even touched the GG with our vehicle and that we had nothing whatsoever to hide – so we therefore had no need to sneak around the back streets of Gondar like criminals. The guide said that he had actually been an eye-witness to the incident and confirmed that our vehicle had not touched the GG, so we had nothing to worry about.

A brief encounter with Debre Birhan Selassie Church

Knowing that we would not have time to explore the castles that day, we set off at about 3 pm in our vehicle to find the photogenic Debre Birhan Selassie Church. After a false start, which took us to the outskirts of town, we backtracked and eventually arrived at the church. We had barely parked the vehicle when a police car and motor cycle sped up to us and told us that we had to accompany them to the Police Station.

At the Police Station we were informed that the GG had laid a charge against us and that she had a swollen leg – she claims that our tyre (Gomma) drove over her foot. They suggested that we find the girl and take her to the hospital. We insisted that we were certain that we had not touched the girl and that we therefore had no business and obligation to take her to hospital.

Under arrest

After an hour the Police had taken my details and statement, requesting even the name of my grandfather, and told me to wait. Pat in the meantime went off to telephone the embassy for advice. We had actually met the ambassador a few weeks earlier, when we went to get a letter of introduction for our Sudanese visa in Addis Ababa, so the conversation was easy.

Representatives of the local tourist authority arrived to help me with the language barrier and to interpret the Amharic version of the statement that I had made and was reluctant to sign without knowing what it actually said. We explained to the tourist authority representatives that we had an eye-witness to the so-called accident who could confirm that we had not been responsible for whatever damage the girl was claiming. Pat and a representative went off to find this witness whilst I remained “under arrest”.

I was asked to surrender my passport, which I politely refused, saying that it was the property of my government and that only my embassy could authorise me to hand it over. Instead, I gave them a photocopy of the passport for their records. In the meantime I was counselled by the tourism authorities that the best way to solve this problem would be to pay the girl some compensation, because to follow the proper legal channels through the court of law would take months.

By the time Pat returned it was getting dark, but the witness, mysteriously, was nowhere to be found. The head of the tourism authority came to see us and after much discussion with the police in Amharic, looked quite concerned. I asked her to tell me what had been said. She was reluctant, but I pressed her for details. She eventually said that the problem was that there were now a number of eye-witnesses who claimed that we had in fact had an accident with the GG. Once again we were told that it would be easier just to pay up – a suggestion which we steadfastly declined, since making a payment would be a kind of admission of guilt and would set a nasty precedent. Soon residents of Gondar would be jumping in front of tourist vehicles like lemmings to claim compensation, I suggested.

The GG had meanwhile been taken to hospital since her leg was apparently swelling quite badly, and it was suggested that we go to the hospital. Not allowed to use our vehicle, and having had my driver's licence taken off me, we caught a taxi to the hospital, with two of the tourist representatives accompanying us.

Hospital time (click here to listen to "Hospitaaltyd" music - 121 kB)

We waited for two hours at the hospital for the results of the X-ray. The doctor showed us that there was a clear, but clean crack high up on the girl's ankle. When we asked whether this injury could have possibly have been caused by a tyre driving over her foot, his answer, to our relief, was a definite “No”. The doctor explained that it was a very simple fracture and would heal completely in two weeks.

Despite this evidence, we were still being advised that the best course of action would be to pay the girl a reasonably small amount of compensation (about one hundred Ethiopia Birr = US$ 12 plus the small cost of medicines and X-ray was suggested) to avoid the delays of a court case. However, the GG was unable to make up her mind about the amount of the compensation and wanted to speak to her father first – so the matter would have to wait until the morning to be resolved. We asked for a medical report that we could take back to the Police, but were told that an official report would take about ten days, due to the backlog of work.

By now it was 10 pm, the hospital was closing and we (and the GG) had to get back home. The problem was that no taxis were running at that time of night and the GG could not possibly walk, her leg having been recently put into plaster. The hospital said that there was no facility for her to stay overnight at the hospital. We felt that it was certainly not our responsibility to get her back home (we could walk the few kilometres back to the Police Station) and that surely if we had not been there, the hospital would have been forced to make a plan.

Eventually an ambulance was dispatched and we all piled into the vehicle which sped back in to town. First the GG was dropped off at her home and then we and the tourist representatives dropped off at the Police Station. The tourist representatives said they would meet us at 8am the next day together with the GG and her family to negotiate compensation.

An unusual campsite

At the Police Station we asked the police guards whether we could take our vehicle to the hotel where we had paid for camping. That was impossible, we were told, the vehicle was impounded. Well, then could we camp at the Police Station? No that was impossible too, and we should hand over the keys to the car and then find a hotel. We politely refused and said that if that were the case, we would if necessary, spend the night sleeping on the pavement next to our car to protect it! After a few minutes of hesitation, the guards eventually relented and agreed that we could pull the car into the Police compound and set up camp.

Within minutes the roof-tent was up and we boiled up water for tea and coffee. We offered the guards food and tea and soon were like old friends, laughing and joking and exchanging stories.

Eventually at midnight, lying in our sleeping bags in the comfort of our roof-tent, we reflected on the day. Throughout we had remained calm, with a polite, but resolute insistence that we had done no wrong. The trouble was that our Sudanese visas, which took us one month and many US dollars to obtain, would expire unless we entered Sudan within the next six days. We still needed at least four days to visit the Simien Mountains, which we had been looking forward to as one of the highlights of our trip. If the Gondar Gomma Incident were to delay us any longer, we would have to miss the Simien Mountains and rush to Sudan, which represented the only available land border to continue our travels to Europe.

Protracted negotiations

The next morning, we were the subject of much attention from passers-by as we enjoyed a leisurely breakfast in the Police compound, having set up our table and chairs in the shade of our unusual roof-tent. We relished the situation and hoped it was causing maximum embarrassment to the authorities.

The GG and her family eventually arrived and negotiations started. After considerable and noisy discussions between the family and the tourist authorities (who were acting as interpreters, trying their best to remain neutral), the family requested 700 Ethiopian Birr = US$ 84. We rejected this figure as being totally unreasonable. They claimed that they had spent a hundred Birr on a taxi to search for us after the accident. Everyone realised that this was nonsense, since it was common knowledge that even a special taxi would cost no more than 25 Birr. If they were being so lenient with the truth about the taxi, how could we believe the rest of the story?

We explained that if they were not going to be more realistic, we would stay and fight the matter in court, where the GG would have to explain to the jury how a tyre could have caused such a mysterious injury higher up on her leg. Should she lose the case, we would expect her to compensate us for our losses – the Sudanese visas – and accommodation expenses for the approximately three months in Gondar.

Hours later, discussions were not progressing and it was rapidly approaching 2 pm, which meant that the police would be obliged to record the case, being 24 hours after the supposed accident. We said that in that case our embassy would put up bail for us (this was true) and that we would stay and fight the case in court (this was a calculated bluff, though we would be quite prepared to spend a few more months in Ethiopia waiting for the European winter to pass before the next leg of our travels).

Eventually, just before the 24 hour deadline, we agreed on a more “reasonable” figure of 300 Birr plus medical expenses (which we had already paid) – a total of about US$ 40. We knew from the tourist authorities that this would represent 3 years of the girl's pitiful salary – she worked as a servant. As a sign of our irritation, Pat presented the 300 Birr in one Birr notes, of which we had a plentiful supply for the ceaseless beggars and “guides” of Ethiopia.

The GG then signed a statement retracting her accusations and stating that she had no idea how she obtained the mysterious injury. We insisted that the statement should add that we in no way accepted any involvement in her injuries and that the payment was made merely to avoid lengthy judicial delays. We made it clear that this left us with a very bad impression of the country and that we felt cheated and seen merely as a source of easy money. The incident had wasted our time and now we would miss out on the Simien Mountains as a result of it.

The aftermath

The Police, clearly embarrassed by the incident, asked us to pack up camp and leave immediately. We took our time, checked the vehicle and packed away at leisure, savouring the spectacle we were presenting to the by-now large crowd that had gathered. After a second, successful, attempt to visit the beautiful little church, we headed out of Gondar, hooting pointedly at the many pedestrians in the road.

We rushed towards the Simien Mountains at maximum speed – about 30 km/h – hoping that we would still be able to see at least a little bit of the spectacular scenery. The roads were bad, but nowhere near as bad as we had been led to believe (“You will destroy ALL your tyres on those roads”) and we were lucky to spend two full, freezing days deep in the mountains a close to 4,000 metres above sea level.

On our way back to the Sudanese border, we passed as briefly as possible through Gondar, pausing only to say goodbye to the guards at the Police Station and the tourist authorities, who had been so pleasant and helpful. We kept a wary eye for pedestrians and made maximum use of our hooter for any pedestrians who dared stray anywhere vaguely near our “Gommas”, with their mysterious, miraculous powers of being able to inflict damage from a distance.

(My sincere thanks go to our Ambassador, the Gondar Tourist Authority and of course my wife Pat for their support during this incident)